Let’s get one thing very clear….and that’s the definition of a whore/hoe.

Dictionary.com defines whore as such:

intr.v. whored, whor·ing, whores
1. To associate or have sexual relations with prostitutes or a prostitute.
2. To accept payment in exchange for sexual relations.
3. To compromise one’s principles for personal gain.

Urban dictionary.com defines the word ‘hoe’ as such:

1. A skank
2. A woman that is too loose in the booty.
3. Woman OR man that f*** anything with two legs.
4. A promiscuous person.syn: slut

And to be perfectly clear with where I’m going with this, here is the definition for ‘promiscuous’:

adj.
1. Having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners; indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.
2. Lacking standards of selection; indiscriminate.
3. Casual; random.
4. Consisting of diverse, unrelated parts or individuals; confused

I feel that the key word in the previous definition is “indiscriminate”. Through various conversations with men, I have noticed the number “10” has been thrown around as the max number of sexual partners he is willing to accept in a mate. According to some men, any woman whose sexual partner number is more than 10, is a whore or hoe, whichever terminology you prefer. Go figure.

Where did this mystery number come from and who said that this was the magic number that made a woman a “whore/hoe”? The reason I say the key word is ‘indiscriminate’ is because many women (MOST women I know anyway) date with the sole purpose of hoping that this guy is ‘the one’. After they’ve dated for a few months and become intimate, for some reason it may not work out. She mourns for a while and decides to lift herself by the boot straps and try it again with someone else.

In these days and times, dating has become more and more difficult for single women. They want to find love but become victim to the ever improving game that guys keep running on them. This does not make them whores. Naïve after so long, but not whores. They know what they are looking for, but are making poor decisions on who they want to be with.
Often times, women want to turn whores into husbands.

They need to give that up.

The same thing goes for men.

On the other hand, I have heard male friends of mine say that they are afraid of good women because they aren’t ready for a relationship. So they settle for Miss Right Now. The woman who will allow him to do his ‘thing’ as long as he keeps her around. Oftentimes, that woman is still doing ‘her’ thing as well.

There are all types of different women out there. And though I don’t think we should judge each other, it happens!

Let’s evaluate this scenario:

A young lady has a casual sexual relationship with a guy. Nothing serious. A few months later, she begins to date his friend and things become serious between the two. Does this make her a whore? Well that’s for the guy to decide. Do you want to be the best man at your boy’s wedding looking at his bride like, “Yeah, I hit that?” If that doesn’t bother you, then hey, I wish you all the happiness in the world. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure sometimes. Same with women.

And even in a huge city like Houston, TX, as a single person, you’re bound to bump into somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody you used to date.

Therefore, everyone has their own definition of a whore and what they will deal with and what baggage they are willing to take. But these days when men (and women sometimes) just don’t know what they want, dating can become extremely hard and complex and before you know it you may end up in the double digits over a period of time. Not because you’re picking up men in the club, selling your body or having wild orgies every weekend, but because you’re going through the trial and error stage of finding love. Mistakes will be made along the way. We all make them.

You live and you learn right?

If a woman has been single and dating for a while, here is an approximate mathematical equation I have come up with (I’m not a math genius so work with me here):

A woman becomes sexually active at say, 20. By the age of 40 if a woman is still not married, there is a strong possibility that she will be in the double digits. How so? Here’s how…

12 months in a year right? She meets a guy in January. They date for about three months. She decides to have sex with him. That’s the normal amount of time for people to become intimate these days I would say. Maybe sooner than that but if the chemistry is right, many just go for it. Let’s say by July they decide to part ways for whatever reason (i.e. He wasn’t ready to commit, he met someone else, lost interest, discovered he was gay….whatever!). The rest of the summer she is probably gonna mope and throw pity parties. By September, she’s ready to get back out there again, another three months go by, and so forth. If by the time all of this trial and error still hasn’t ended by the age of 40, this woman may have already slept with 20 guys, roughly (that’s the minimum). Does this make her a whore/hoe? No. She’s just made some mistakes in picking the wrong men while looking for love. She wasn’t giving of her self freely to any Joe that she met on the street or being “indiscriminate.”

I know this because I see it everyday. I read books about it. Hell they even made a number one hit show about it: Sex and the City. Wanna know why this show was such a hit with the ladies? Because it’s real!!! All of those women (except for Samantha) were looking for love. And they went through a LOT of trial and error to get there.

So does your number make you a whore? Maybe not. But as women, I do think women should practice more discriminate dating habits to keep those numbers down.

And as a woman who has made some very poor dating choices, I have become way more cautious of who gets to stick their hand in MY cookie jar. 🙂