(There has been a lot of talk about this color complex issue with the documentary “Dark Girls” being aired on the OWN network tonight. So here is an encore blog I wrote a few years back. Sadly, nothing has changed since 2008, when it was originally written.)

Have you ever had someone say something to you that was probably intended to be a compliment but came across as somewhat insulting at the same time?

Well I have dealt with receiving one “compliment” that completely irks the living hell out of me!!!

And what is that compliment you ask?

Well it goes a little something like this…..”You are so beautiful to be dark-skinned.”

O.K. What the hell is that supposed to mean? What started out as a compliment ended in an insult. What is this individual implying? That most dark-skinned women are unattractive and that I am a rare gem. A rare gem I am, but not because of the way I look.

This weekend while me and a friend of mine were at a local restaurant, this compliment was given to me and when I questioned others about what was said, there was a consensus among a group of other guys that, indeed there aren’t as many dark-skinned beautiful women as there are beautiful light skinned women. That irritates me because I think that beauty has no color. Regardless of your skin color, beauty is beauty.

There are just as many attractive dark-skinned women out there as there are attractive light-skinned sistahs. The truth is, many people are still stuck in this “light is right” era that was created a hundred years ago to further seperate Black people. The whole idea of the ‘paper bag test’ which allowed some Black students into college and certain organizations and denied the ones who didn’t pass the test. Are we still stuck in that mindset?

I’m not! Because I have enough sense to know that there are many other women who look like me who are just as beautiful as I am…..

Oh and another thing, many dark-skinned brothahs and sistahs have this f****d up notion that if they marry someone lighter, they increase the chances of their children being lighter. First of all… Wrong! My mom is as light as they come and I got my father’s color. Second of all..What difference does it make what complexion your child is….They will be beautiful regardless. It is up to us to teach our children not to look at color. Beauty is from within and does not have a color. Let’s get it together Black folks!!!

There are beautiful chocolate sistahs everywhere! I am not the only one!