Over three years ago, I began this little blog. I started with the intention for it to be sort of a personal diary that I was sharing with the world.

Needless to say because of the title of the blog, I was a having a rough time with dating!
Part of the reason I left Birmingham, Alabama was not only because I was a victim of a fallen economy at the time (can you say 3 layoffs in one year?) but I had my heart broken one too many times. Hey I was in my twenties and made some horrible decisions when it came to relationships, but I really just wanted to get a fresh start somewhere else. Hello Houston, TX! #texasbama

And I was not the only one. There wasn’t a moment that went by during a conversation with my girlfriends about the issues we were having with guys we were dating, interested in, or “talking to,” whatever you want to call it. Eighty-five percent of our conversations were entirely about the male species and trying to understand what is wrong with them!

After many requests from people to start a blog that know that I have a history in journalism, I gave in. As I started to write more and more, I slowly began to realize that it wasn’t that it was something wrong with men. It was our inability to see some of the signs that maybe these particular men we were so infatuated/in love with just weren’t that into us!!

I used to live by the Carrie Bradshaw quote from “Sex in the City” where she says “I don’t pick the wrong men, they pick me!”

However, it was our choice to continue to pursue ‘something’ with said man even beyond the red flags.

Fast forward and a few short months after starting this blog and some horrific online dating experiences, I ran into a nice looking guy while I was doing an interview with reality tv star, Claudia Jordan for my website/blog. At the time, I was really over dating and had completely come to peace with being single and fabulous, traveling the world, and keeping a boy toy on stand by when I got bored.

Anywho, this nicely dressed man introduced himself to me and we kept the conversation really cordial and professional. The following week, I was hosting a speed dating event and there he was again! This time he decided to ask me out and I said yes. He seemed cool enough.

Fast forward again three years later and here we are planning a wedding!!!!! What? ME?? Getting married??? At the rate my dating struggle was going I never thought the words “I’m getting married” would ever part my lips.

Definitely wasn’t expecting all of this to come from that chance encounter at that event but as we got to know each other, we just fell extremely hard.

Now, let me say this. Although I do believe I am finally getting my happily ever after, it was not an easy road or decision to make.

When I met this man, he had A LOT going on in his life and I’m not gonna put my baby’s business out there but it was A LOT! Aside from that, on the first date I found out he has a mother who passionately believed that he was not in the right position to be dating (yeah she called him while we were headed to our first date). I also found out he has two children.

Anyone that knows me knows that my max criteria when it came to kids was “none or maybe one.” It was a lot to take on when all of my adult life I’ve only been responsible for myself. After our first date, I remember calling my best friend (and now Maid of Honor ) Kim, and telling her about the date. I told her he seemed like a nice guy but it will NOT go past friendship cause he has WAAAAAY too much going on. I had “friend zoned” him basically.

But it was his continued persistence, effort, and his attention to me that won me over. I think he could tell that I was scared away after that first date but he refused to give up winning me over.

He has since taught me a lot about patience and responsibility that in this time of my life, I really needed. Lucky for me, his kids are absolutely amazing and we have a great relationship. In the beginning it was a completely different dynamic for me but now it’s a dynamic that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

I shared this story to say this: Love is a beautiful thing. It really is. But first, you have to love yourself and where you are now before love can find you. You also have to be happy for others when they do find love. That type of positivity will attract positivity your way. We also have to truly understand that there is no such thing as the perfect guy. At the end of the day you have to ask yourself, “Is he your friend?, “Is he reliable,” “Does he respect you,” “Do you share similar spiritual beliefs (equally yoked), “Does he pay attention to you?” “Is he consistent in his actions?” “Does he make you happy?” “Does he make his intentions clear with what he wants with you?”

If the answer is yes to all of these questions, this may be a man worth looking at.

IF I CAN FIND THIS TYPE OF HAPPINESS AFTER THE NIGHTMARE-ISH DATING STRUGGLES I’VE BEEN THROUGH, YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT EXEMPT.

You’ve got to check yourself and your standards first though.

#7.7.17 #meetthePhelps #Imgettingmarriedyall #mydatingstruggleisOVA #theblogcontinues #iblog