A few years ago, I was obsessed with a television series called “Girlfriends.”
The main character Joan had what she referred to as a “90 Day Rule.” In short, what this meant was that in order for her to find love and build a lasting relationship with someone, the man that she dated would have to wait 90 days before they became sexually involved.
Now, in theory, this sounds like a great idea, right? Indeed, sometimes sex can cloud judgment. You also don’t want the man to think that you go around having sex with every man you’re attracted to.
By making a man wait to become intimate, it allows him to get to know you before he gets to “know” you. This should be the setup for a successful lasting relationship, right?
Wrong!
Ladies when it comes to dating when you have sex with the man has absolutely NOTHING to do with how long your relationship will last. In fact, if it is truly marriage that you’re seeking, the age-old rule is to wait until after you’ve gotten married to take that step. But in this day and age how many of us are still doing that?
If a man is in a mindset to want a relationship and truly get to know you, he will do that whether you have sex on the third date or after the third month. If all a man wants is sex, it doesn’t matter when you do it, after the deed is done his mission has been accomplished.
Self-proclaimed “Relationship Guru” and comedian Steve Harvey 
wrote a book called “Act like a lady, Think like a man” which eventually he turned into a movie. Mr. Harvey compares making women wait for sex to big corporations putting new employees on a 90-day probationary period before they are allowed a full benefits package. These new employees have to prove themselves to their employer first. In this comparison, the woman is the employer and the employee is the man. However, if we really break this down, many new employees will do everything right in those first 90 days just, so they can receive those benefits. But after those 90 days, many of them will start to show up late, start calling out, not performing as strongly as they did when they were trying to get that package.
This is exactly what I see happening a lot in the dating world! These men show up on time for dates, take you to the finest restaurants, buy gifts etc., but as soon as they get you in the bed, depending on his mindset, you may end up becoming his “Netflix and Chill” partner and nothing more.
At the end of the day, in today’s society, sex is the norm. We are programmed to think that sex is a necessity via social media, television, music, advertising, etc. When it comes to trying to build a lasting relationship with someone, you have to really try and follow your instincts when you meet someone you may be interested in. Ask the right questions and don’t ignore red flags. Sometimes as women we become so obsessed with being in a relationship with someone that we don’t pay attention to signs that we should be paying attention to. Those signs become even more obscured once you become intimate.
So, whether you have sex in 9 days, 90 days or 9 months, neither will guarantee you the type of relationship you are looking for. At the end of the day, it comes down to what you decide to do and who you decide to do it with, so choose wisely and most important, STAY PROTECTED. Dating is a gamble, either way, just make sure you are playing your cards right. 
I waited till marriage, PERIOD. So did my wife. I was a very active “dater,” but decided when I was 13 that I would wait until marriage before having sex. When I knew I was going to ask my girl friend to marry me, I went and counted all the girls I had kissed (46) and was somewhat impressed that I could remember them all, but ashamed that I had gone even that far with so many girls. I never did anything with a woman that I would feel ashamed to admit to her father or current husband. I always believed that the time I was given to be with a girl/woman, it was up to me to lead her spiritually to draw closer to God. That role only deepens when a man becomes the spiritual head of his household. I do not write this to brag and apologize if it comes across as such. Merely to say that there really are men and women that wait. We are not fringe, home school weirdos, we just might not advertise the fact. I did not get married until I was 28. I was a college athlete, professional adventurer (river raft guide and mountaineer) who traveled around the world, combat veteran, and bar bouncer. In my circle of friends in both high school and college, about half were also waiting and successful at it. A few were not, most who committed remained. The trick is to have a deep spiritual component combined with a social group that hold you accountable. I know that the moment I come out in a group as a Christian, everything I say or do will be scrutinized by both fellow believers and unbelievers (these are the ones that REALLY hold me accountable, as my life might be the only “bible,” they ever read). I know I am FAR from perfect, but in this one regard, I held the line, and I am not alone.